callmeloquacious

Motherhood is sacrifice. At times it can seem overwhelming. 

I’ll say that I’m not one to act like motherhood should equal martyrdom or personal and marriage assassination. I think sometimes we can elevate motherhood to the point of prioritizing in a wrong way or worshipping our children. I love my babies. I’ve sacrificed for my babies. But they aren’t first in my life. They aren’t even second. 

Jesus is first. Always. 

My husband is number two. There is no competition between babies and baby daddy in my mind. My husband has sacrificed a lot for me and our children. I put him above our kids without question. He deserves it! Our calling to each other and ministry together were before our babies came along. 

Now have things shifted since becoming a mom? Absolutely. Each time I have a baby, things shift a little more. I have less time. Less space. Less freedom in a way. But there are things that still remain important enough to help my children know where they fit into our world versus us revolving ours around them. They have to be good travelers. We spend nearly three months a year collectively on the road! They have to be content while mommy is leading a Bible study for women in our home. They have to learn that Daddy is more important which may mean they need to quietly play while we talk or work together on a project. They need to know early that they are not center of our home but instead have joined their daddy and mommy in the calling God has on our holy union. 

I want my children to be enjoyable for others. Not whining, pulling at mommy, crying for mommy, screaming at strangers, always asking for things in the store and pitching a fit when they don’t get it, etc. I want people to WANT to watch my kids because they are a joy! I want to be able to go on a date with my man wholeheartedly and not be wondering if my children are being holy terrors for the babysitter. Not to be sure- this is still a work in progress and we are moving toward this goal, but not arrived! 

Motherhood is a strange thing. It changes you in both unseen and obvious ways. 

Did you know that the strongest muscle per size in the human body is the womb? Think about it. This tiny uterus is strong enough to push out an entire human being with a tremendous about of pressure and strength. And contrary to current political arguments, only humans who are born women possess these strongest muscles. 

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I remember how unseen I felt. I found out I had gestational diabetes and every evening I would pound the grass around our yard to lower my sugar numbers. No one saw how hard I worked to be healthy for the baby growing in me. Well, except maybe the neighbors! But most didn’t see my lack of sleep, my restless legs, my drinking tons of water which then lent itself to more bathroom trips. They didn’t see that I would deny myself desserts and carbs and then have to draw blood four times a day to monitor my sugar. They didn’t see me doing exercises or throwing up or trying to juggle life and family and ministry while having extra issues with pregnancy. They didn’t see me tired and hungry all the time or wincing because of pain in my back or pelvis. 

Most of the time, people only would see me for a few moments and they would either say nothing or tell me I was too big and should you be that tired? Or Are you sure you’re not having twins? Even now, I roll my eyes…because whoever says that to a pregnant woman has zero manners or common decency. But, I digress.

Any way you cut it, Motherhood is sacrifice.

It’s literally giving life to someone else at the cost of your own. No bending over to tie your shoes for several months. No eating what you used to eat or want to eat. And definitely no more solid sleep. Your body changes. Your hair changes. Your wardrobe changes. Your whole world is suddenly imploded with diapers and breast feeding and ferocious hunger and thirst, not to mention the pressure and negativity of comments made by others about how you are doing it wrong.

Motherhood is sacrifice. 

Sacrifice of time, energy, and sometimes your reputation. Sacrifice of your body, your sleep and every vitamin and mineral you used to keep for your own…now it’s being used to make a baby. Sacrifice of your emotions, your mental strength and your physical health at times. 

Sacrifice is beautiful. It’s a metamorphosis of sorts. The changing and challenging of a more self-focused woman to a nurturer, a caretaker, a listener. Sacrifice was modeled best by Jesus. The Ultimate giving on Calvary showed us what it’s all about. Giving life to others.

Motherhood is like that.

This makes me wonder and awe a little…because being a sacrificial mother gives me the opportunity to model Jesus for my babies. To be perhaps the first one to mirror what Jesus did for us- give of Himself freely so we could live.

Motherhood is sacred and sacrifice.